It makes me happy that this post will come right before Sarah Jayne posts something worthwhile to read, haha. Maybe I can get away with ranting without offending anyone! I just have had a really busy week, and not had too much time to plan out my post, but there is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I am frustrated by how many people tell young couples to put off having children. First of all, it’s no ones business to tell others when to have children. However, it makes me really sad because when I spend time with my beautiful boys, or anticipate the arrival of my girl, they fill me with the greatest and deepest joy. Nothing, could ever bring such purpose and joy to my life. As for the work it takes, it’s a lot! But I would be working anyway, and without as much purpose.
Not to mention, many of my girl friends have expressed how they would have liked to have children earlier but felt that they would be judged by others. TRUST ME, I know how that is. I actually had someone call my mom when I was expecting my first child, to tell her that I should not be having the baby!! HA! Why do we tell people to put off the thing that is MOST important, for things like travel or schooling, etc., that can ALL be done while having children or after they are grown? Many will express the concern about finances, yet spend student loans on trips abroad, shopping, etc.
There is a rise in infertility and a large reason for this is because people are waiting until older ages to start having children, and then are surprised to find that it doesn’t happen as easily as they had planned. In my class on marital stress and coping, I learned something that many of us don’t know. It doesn’t matter when you have children in your marriage, whether it is a “honeymoon baby” or decades later… if your marriage is in a good place, then that baby will bring strength and happiness. If your marriage is struggling, then having a child will not solve your problems. So don’t believe people when they tell you that you should wait so that you can “just focus on your marriage.”
My advice and opinion is not that everyone should have children right away. My advice is that other adults stop telling young people to wait. It just doesn’t make sense to put off the best parts of life, until your body, marriage, and career are tired. Because then it may be too late. Okay rant done. Snuggle your babies.