If you’re like me, you’re probably reading this right now on your phone in your jammies and you’ve still got some of yesterday’s mascara under your eyes and Oreo crumbs in your cleavage. What’s that? You’re fully dressed, sitting upright at a desktop computer with perfectly in-place lip color and a bag of kale chips nestled safely in your lunchbox? If this is you then GET OUT YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, OBVIOUSLY.
I’m the queen of cozies. I loooove to be comfy. And I generally don’t ever get dressed (or even what most people would consider “decent”) unless I’m going to leave the house and see another human that’s not related to me.
I do actually think it’s nice to look semi-presentable at home. It makes you feel better and look better for impromptu snapshots or facetimes, but that’s not what this post is about. Wear whatever the heck you want when you’re in your house. Unless I’m coming over. Then make sure you wear whatever you wear when you spend all day making someone cookies.
My tips are for helping you look more put together when you leave the house. To go anywhere other than the gym. Yes, even Walmart. You even have to look good for Walmart people. You have to look good for yourself. (Because you’re a Walmart person). But also because it helps you feel good about yourself. “EVERYONE KNOWS THAT,” you shout at me. To which I say, “But do you think of yourself as a put-together, fashionable woman, or as a bare-minimum, frumpalicious nothing-person?” And then you sit there and start to think about how you can’t wait till I get into my ten tips that will make you feel like the former.
Chrissy’s Ten Tips:
1. Dressing in baggy/boxy clothes is okay but only on one half of your body. Boyfriend jeans should be paired with a slim top and a boxy tunic should be paired with skinny pants.
2. Wear Jewelry! DUH. A little sparkle goes a looooong way towards helping you look more put together.
3. Wear something interesting! Like Clinton & Stacy always say: “color, pattern, texture, shine!”
4. Don’t underestimate the “completer piece” (cardi, blazer, scarf, vest) is a great way to add interest to an outfit. It’s also practical, even here in our hot Oklahoma summers, I like to wear a light drapey cardigan to keep me from getting chilly in the grocery store or at the movies.
5. Do your freaking hair for once in your life! (This one’s for me. I’m so lazy about doing my hair. Even though a blow dry and a quick curl/straighten literally only adds 15 minutes ONCE EVERY THREE DAYS. Why won’t I do it?!? Please everyone just make me do it.)
6. Athletic shoes are for athletic endeavors. If you’re wearing New Balance sneakers with flare leg jeans for anything other than yard work, just please make a vow right now to stop doing that.
7. Try to generally look like you give a crap. This one is ALL about wrinkles. If you’re wondering if it’s too wrinkled, it probably is. I’ve tried the “just use a hair straightener as an iron” trick, but usually I use the old “wear something else” trick instead. But I don’t look wrinkley any more!
8. Makeup. OBVIOUSLY. Even just a little makes a big difference in how you look and feel.
9. Your purse is important! Think of a put-together, classy lady (real or imaginary). Her purse is tidy, clean and not falling apart, right? Stuff is not gushing out of her purse. Her purse generally goes with most of her outfits. BECOME THIS WOMAN.
10. Don’t have 8th grader nails. If you’re feeling adventurous and decide to paint them on a Thursday, go crazy and pencil in a “nail polish removal” date the following Thursday. OR, just let ‘em go naked. Nails like that shizz. Nails do not like to look like they belong on an 8th grader who painted her nails in the cosmetics aisle of Walgreens three weeks ago.
And there you go! You did it! Oh wait… You’re still sitting there with your old mascara and those Oreo crumbs? Wait. Where are the Oreo crumbs? Did you EAT them?! Come on, girl. GET IT TOGETHER. But first, share this post on facebook or pin it on Pinterest so that your friends all think you’re like soooo into not being a frump-dump and that you’re sooo posting this to help them and their poor Oreo-speckled-cleavage selves. They’ll thank you.