So, I love music. I know, pretty much everyone does (if you DON’T love music… well, then, just GET OUT. Jk you can stay but I doubt you’d like this post much). I grew up in a very musical household. We didn’t just enjoy music. We lived it. And no, I don’t mean simply by playing instruments (which we did and we had lots of in our house- even a whole room just devoted to instruments: a dozen or so guitars at one time, a drum set, bass guitars, amps, microphones, piano, keyboard… later on cello and stand-up bass…). What I mean is that music found its way into every aspect of our lives. When we were in the car for any reason at all, short trips to the store or road trips, we didn’t have music playing softly in the background of our conversations, no, we played the music too loud to be able to have conversation and anyone who tried to was shushed because others were trying to listen to the music. Not that we didn’t like to talk to one another, and normally we did lots of that… but not so much in the car. The car was music time. Just sit back, look out the window, and listen to the music, feel the music, live the music… Because of this, I had a tough time adjusting to the way other people listen to music in the car (quietly, as mostly background noise, every once in a while turning a really good song up, and then turning it back down again once it’s over) and would drive other people nuts over how loud I liked my music playing and how little I liked to converse in the car or how rude I could even be sometimes with my “shush! This is the best part of the song! Okay now I have to start the song over because we missed the beginning…” It’s just how I grew up. My family loved to enjoy music. There are so many songs I consider part of the “Soundtrack of My Life” because of how much time in my life growing up was devoted to playing, making, and listening to music (in the car, in my room, while cleaning, while showering, on my mp3 player between classes in high school and college…). I just re-discovered some music I haven’t listened to in a while and it inspired me to think about all the music from the different stages of my life and how they still make me feel so many things because of all the memories and feelings imbedded in them for me. Now I’d like to share some of my favorites with you. It was really hard for me to not make it a really incredibly long list that NO ONE would want to read. There are just so many great songs that have come to mind that I really wanted to share. Here are just a skimming of the surface of the songs that have shaped me and been there for me when I needed a boost, or to vent, or whatever. Music has always been my very best friend. (there are some links to some of them, but I decided not to put Youtube links to all of them because I don’t want it to slow down the page or anything).
1- Free Fallin’ –Tom Petty
This one was my first “favorite song” that I can remember having. It was a favorite to listen to in the car with my family on longer trips (like going to Craters of the Moon from Rigby to go camping when we lived in Idaho during my childhood). I loved the chorus and the idea of “free falling.” I’d imagine that free feeling of falling through the air as we drove down the road, watching the fields go by.
2- Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
I had older brothers in the 90s, who brought the Red Hot Chili Peppers into our home and our family has been listening to them ever since. “Under the Bridge” is the second song I can remember being a favorite of mine. I had no idea what it was about at the time but I just loved it (and thought that Anthony Keidis was one handsome, long-haired man). This song just reminds me of my childhood, living in Rigby, and my older brothers blasting this song from inside their room. I just wanted to hang out with them.
3- Tonight Tonight- Smashing Pumpkins
I have always really loved this song. It has always made me feel wonderful and think of youth and love and being carefree. Even as a child I recognized all these feelings and I loved this song then and still do now. It, too, reminds me of Rigby, of my childhood, and of my older brothers.
4- Just a Girl- No Doubt
Now this song has always been meaningful to me. I connected with this song SO MUCH, being the only girl with 4 brothers around. I constantly had feelings of “well, that’s not fair. Just because I’m a girl…” over tons of different things. I felt left out sometimes, or like everyone was too careful with me or that it was less acceptable for me to do certain things that were totally fine if they did them. This song let me vent out all those frustrations over being “just a girl” in our family.
5- No Rain- Blind Melon
I always loved this song and connected with the lyrics so much. Especially the line “and all I can do is read a book to stay awake, and it rips my life away, but it’s a great escape.” I loved to read, but sometimes got a bit carried away, to where it was all I wanted to do until the book was over. I’d get so lost in books I’d hide myself away up in my room and barely come out to eat. I also felt connected to “all I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watching the puddles gather rain” because I felt that was so true for me on so many different levels.
6- Virtual Insanity –Jamiroquai
This song just plain reminds me of living in Puerto Rico and catching the bus to school before the sun was even up, because it took over 45 minutes to get there from where we lived. This album came out around this time and we listened to it a lot in the car.
7- Criminal –Fiona Apple
This song also reminds me of Puerto Rico, but it also stuck with me through all my time growing up, as Fiona Apple became my go-to music for when I was feeling depressed, upset, angry, guilty, or broken-hearted. She helped me channel a lot of my intense teenage emotions.
8- Forca –Nelly Furtado
This song reminds me of my middle school years. I listened to Nelly Furtado a lot back then (these were her “I’m Like a Bird” days, not her “Promiscuous Girl” days). This song still makes me feel so big and like I can do anything. It makes me feel connected to Brazil, as well, which is weird because Nelly Furtado is of Portuguese descent, not Brazilian. But I think of Brazil as I listen to the song (probably because of the word Forca, which means strength/power/force in Portuguese) and I think of the strength and force of the Brazilian side in me. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain. But I do love this song.
9- Velha Infancia –Tribalistas
This song simply reminds me of our visit to Brazil when I was 14. It was such an amazing trip for me and I think back fondly of it often. This song played in stores and on the radio all the time there back then. It was very popular.
10- Existentialism on Prom Night –Straylight Run
As a teenager I ventured out more into my own musical taste, separate from what the rest of the family listened to or what was playing on the radio. This is when I got into my “hipster-ish” stage where I was all “ugh, radio music. You’ve probably never heard of the bands I listen to. They’re not really mainstream” hahaha. This song reminds me of being I high school, of spending all my times with my friends, of being carefree and young, and of my love for singing and music. It still makes me feel all the feels.
11- Brightly Wound –Eisley
This is another band I discovered in high school. Unlike Straylight Run, I still listen to Eisley a lot and they are still a favorite band of mine. I will still listen to some Strayight Run but mostly for reminiscence. Eisley has carried me through high school, college, and beyond. Love them. This song in particular was probably my favorite song throughout all of high school. I didn’t want to grow up and become an adult. I loved being young and carefree and this song was just so magical to me.
12- Waltz (Better than Fine)
I’ve always love the message of this song. Uncharacteristically positive for Fiona Apple. And I like it.
13- Cover Your Eyes –Straylight Run
Another one by Straylight Run. This song has always struck a chord with me. It’s about telling little ones that they are beautiful the way they are and finding the beauty in people and life, even if it isn’t traditional beauty. I love the message of this song.
14- My Lovely –Eisley
This one reminds me of my youth and also makes me think of my relationship with Alex. I remember listening to it after we had been dating a while, and thinking of how fitting it was for us and our relationship. For those who don’t know, he spent a number of years waiting for me while we were in high school and I was off dating other guys (while he watched from the sidelines, poor guy) and then I waited for him for 2 years while he was on his mission. There was a lot of waiting before we were finally married. But good things come to those who wait.
15- A Sight to Behold –Eisley
This song makes me feel great about life and makes me want to live it well. It reminds me of college and walking to and from classes.
16- Invasion –Eisley
This song is hard for me to listen to without crying. I don’t know what it is intended to be about, but for me it is about drug abuse. It makes me think of all of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are tied to having a loved one struggle with addiction and how angry it has made me at drugs, as if drugs were a person I could be angry with.
17- Fix You –Coldplay
This song reminds me of college as well. It was during college that I realized how much this song could be related to The Atonement and it has made me feel so many emotions as I think about all the mistakes I’ve made and continue to make in my life and the sorrow I’ve seen, and how the Atonement can “fix me” if I let it and do my part.
Another song to represent my relationship with Alex. “I went for so long, and I was so wrong and then I met you and now I can’t live without you, and I don’t want to. I’ve done that all my life up till now… all the days, darling now, oh all the days, now we’ll have to make them up, we’ll make them up somehow”
19- It Did –Brad Paisley
The song we danced to at our wedding. “Our song”
20- A Thousand Years –Christina Perri
The song that, for me, represents becoming a mother finally, after waiting my whole life, preparing to be one. It played on the radio all the time around when Elijah was born and I listened to it a lot on the trips to and from the NICU every day to visit Elijah 40 minutes away. It made me cry every time. I was medicated. Haha. But still makes me feel emotional.